5.31.2006

2015: Breakthru Physics Experiment Points to "Braneworld Universe"

2015 (Palo Alto, California) -- Scientists today released results of an experiment which seems to prove that our universe floats on an "embedded membrane" thru a five-dimensional "meta-universe". Lisa Randall of Harvard University, the lead scientist on the experiment, proclaimed that the implications are so profound that the world must wait for other, confirming evidence before the 5-D braneworld theory can be considered proven. "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence," Randall said at a raucous press conference interrupted by heckling from fundamentalist Christians and a fringe group of committed string theorists.

2012: Joint American-Pakistani-Afghan Forces Invade Waziristan After Wave of European Attacks

2012 (Karachi, Pakistan) -- Coalition strike teams swarmed thru tribal Waziristan today after President John McCain vowed to "take the war to every Taliban-controlled village" in the outlaw region. The coordinated attack -- using special ops forces, "killer drones", and recently-developed laser-based non-lethal weaponry -- is expected to last weeks. Waziristan-based militants took credit for simultaneous explosions in apartment complexes in Paris, Munich, Madrid, and Rome which killed over 400 people Tuesday. The region has a longlong history of Taliban control, and Pakistan's leader Musharraf's reasoning behind ceding the area to Jihadists was always unclear. Whether Pakistan is playing a "double game" -- giving support to Jihadist groups until the pressure grows too great, and then throwing the West a few operatives that may be past their prime -- is an open question. For now, Pakistani forces have joined the coalition operation and McCain hailed the government as an "essential ally" in the Anti-Jihad coalition.